Single & Sexually Whole

Soulfully Celebrating the Dance of the Sexes

by Dr Doug Rosenau

  • Who are you as a sexual person?
  • Has the “virginity cult” affected sexual wholeness in the church?
  • Is masturbation permissible in God’s sexual economy? 

In his final work published posthumously, Dr. Doug Rosenau’s candid and compassionate words are specifically dedicated to the individual living in singleness, though they read like a letter to the postmodern church. Responding to exhaustive cultural and religious messages that hyper-sexualize and suppress sexuality, Rosenau laments the misguiding of many seeking to understand the purpose of their sexual nature.

What if there is a larger story of sexual journey for one in a season of singleness or the one along a lifelong path? 

Within this exploration of fundamental sexual wholeness lies the conundrum for anyone living in singleness: Why would God give us a sexual nature if he didn’t want to us to use it? This thoughtful work will provide a meaningful answer.

    In a genre of books relating to theology and sexuality, Rosenau’s is set apart. He resists providing black and white answers to coping behaviors. Rosenau won’t give you a blanket declaration that masturbation is right or wrong. Instead, he asks all thought-provoking questions – the grand questions behind the obvious that equip each reader to uncover an answer.

    Still, he doesn’t shy away from answers to the hard questions like,

    • “How far is too far?”
    • What is the true cost of pornography?
    • Is it okay to be friends with benefits?”

    This twenty-two-chapter compilation will influence a pursuit of sexual wholeness for anyone, single or married; those who want to be and those who don’t wish to find a spouse. Rosenau explains that our need for intimacythat is inextricably linked to our humanity. Topics addressed include:

    • Friendship Sexuality
    • Righteous flirting
    • A Theology of Masturbation
    • What Do I Do with All My Sexual Energy?
    • Viruses That Can Destroy Healthy Intimacy
    • God’s Sexual ER

    Through logical, emotional, and spiritual outworking of the biblical roadmap Rosenau constructs, he explains that one is indeed whole number.

    Through logical, emotional, and spiritual outworking of the biblical roadmap Rosenau constructs, he explains that one is indeed whole number.

    At its core, it exposes a deep question: Why would a God who isn’t sexual would give us sexual desire and its tremendous potential for destruction? Within these pages lies the clarity and complexity of a biblical theology that redeems our stories as well as our understanding of God’s profound gift to humanity.

    Rosenau unpacks the multi-dimensional reality of human soulfulness, painting a picture of a community necessary to our sexual health where women and men, both single and married, discover how to seek a wholeness that is integral for individual spiritual thriving.  

    He exposes the pain behind sexual brokenness and the fierce grip it can seemingly claim upon us. But when you meet the God of Rosenau’s faith, you will finally understand why it is never too late to find healing and wholeness.

    When he introduces and defends what he terms “soul virginity,” every reader can reach a greater understanding of why this lifelong pursuit is, in some ways, a great equalizer among women and men, married and single.  The sanctity of sex isn’t reduced to a single experience or dimension. As Rosenau uncovers its true meaning, we are introduced to a complex and rich character of a loving God who invites us to meet him in the most vulnerable, naked, and spiritual of places.

     Ultimately, this is a message of hope and healing. It’s an invitation is to be part of building a community from one that is deeply fractured – one that fights for freedom for the individual as it reaches for God’s design for a community that reflects inclusion while it honors the exclusive nature of true sex.

    As Rosenau reveals, it was the vision of the Creative Trinity that gifted humanity with an integral part of our nature that was designed to connect mind, body, and heart in a sexual journey toward a wholeness that is nothing short of divine.

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    From the Back Cover

    Who are you as a sexual person? How has the “virginity cult” affected sexual wholeness in the church?

    In this candid work published posthumously, Dr. Doug Rosenau’s words are dedicated to singleness, though they read like a letter to the postmodern church. Responding to cultural and religious messages that hyper-sexualize and suppress sexuality, Rosenau laments the misguiding of many seeking to understand ultimate purpose for their sexual nature.

    Resisting formulaic ideology to instead uncover the grand questions behind the questions, he challenges internal constructs to cultivate a cohesive theology of sexuality. At its core, it casts redemptive light on a provocative conundrum: Why would God give us desire that carries such destructive potential?

    Rosenau introduces the pursuit of “soul virginity,” exposing the complex and rich character of a loving God who invites us to meet him in the most vulnerable, naked, and spiritual of places, and why it is never too late to find healing for sexual brokenness. 

    Ultimately, it is a message of hope and healing. When Dr. Rosenau reveals sexuality through the vision of the Creative Trinity, every one of us can discover a powerful part of our nature designed to intimately connect mind, body, and heart for an individual and communal journey toward wholeness that is nothing short of divine.

    A needed update to Soul Virgins

     When Rosenau and Wilson wrote Soul Virgins, they introduced several critical concepts to the discussion of single sexuality. Beyond the “just don’t,” they discussed a complexity needed for singles trying to bring a Christian ethic to their sexual feelings and behaviors.

    Single and Sexually Whole is a revision and expansion of the Soul Virgins. While it is a totally new book, it is designed to replace Soul Virgins as it updates the concepts begun there.

     

    Table of Contents

    About the Author

    Preface
    Introduction
    Chapter 1 –  God’s Intimate Design in Sexuality
    Chapter 2 –  One is A Whole Number
    Chapter 3 –  Your Sexual Identity and Story
    Chapter 4 –  Soul-sexy Masculinity
    Chapter 5 –  Soul-sexy Femininity and the Dance of the Sexes
    Chapter 6 –  God’s Sexual Economy: Implementing Social and Erotic Sexuality
    Chapter 7 –  Friendship Sexuality and Righteous Flirting
    Chapter 8 –  The Dance of the Sexes: Boundaries and Those Crucial DTRs
    Chapter 9 –  Three-Dimensional Soul Sexuality and Heart Attitudes
    Chapter 10 –  Living Intimately from Your Heart – An Inside-Out Lifestyle
    Chapter 11 –  What Is a Soul Virgin and Why Become One?
    Chapter 12 –  The Art of Stewardship, Costly Obedience & the Benefits of Chastity
    Chapter 13 –  Why Am I So Horny?—Understanding Sexual Desire
    Chapter 14 –  What Do I Do with All My Sexual Energy?
    Chapter 15 –  A Theology of Masturbation
    Chapter 16 –  Porn, The Brain and the Fight for Sexual Wholeness
    Chapter 17 –  Viruses That Can Destroy Healthy Sexual Intimacy
    Chapter 18 –  God’s Sexual E.R.
    Chapter 19 –  Is This a Date?
    Chapter 20 –  Coupling: The Wheel and the Bridge
    Chapter 21 –  Virginity, The Bikini Boundary and “How Far Can I Go?”
    Chapter 22 –  Single & Sexually Whole: The Seven Pledges
    Works Cited

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    Dr. Doug Rosenau

    Douglas E. Rosenau, Ed.D. (1947-2022), was a Licensed Psychologist and Marriage and Family Therapist, specializing in sex therapy. For over thirty years he maintained a private practice, acquiring skills and gaining experience while listening to over 50,000 hours of stories. Doug used this practical wisdom in authoring A Celebration of Sex, co-authoring A Celebration Guidebook; A Celebration of Sex After 50; and Soul Virgins: Redefining Single Sexuality. He was a nationally known conference speaker who loved to mentor and encourage. He was passionate about helping to equip and empower church leaders to teach healthy sexuality within their communities as he sought to fulfill his calling to “cultivate a sexually health Church.” Doug served as an adjunct professor at Richmont Graduate University in Atlanta, Reformed Theological Seminary in Jackson, MS, Trevecca Nazarene University in Nashville, and Dallas Theological Seminary.

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